When I am dead, cry for me a little,
Think of me sometimes, but not too much.
Think of me now and again, as I was in life.
At some moments it’s pleasant to recall, but not for long.
Leave me in peace, and I shall leave you in peace.
And while you live, let your thoughts be with the living.

Traditional Native American Prayer, USA

We have come here today to honor and remember my eldest sister, Susie. I have heard some people say she was only 54 years old. In my life experience it is not the chronological time you have lived, but the quality of the life you have experienced. Despite the apparent briefness of her life, I am here to tell you that she lived a very full and rich life.

My sister is an awesome artist; a woman who created beauty and vitality with every single thing she made or did. Whether it was the spinach and ham rolls she made for our Christmas gathering, or the picture frames she handcrafted for all on her Christmas list; every act of her life was done with the intention to make this earth a better place to be. I remember when she was just 14 years old and my father (who could be a little critical at times) gave her free reign to paint a mermaid on his bathroom wall. My father loved beautiful women, he married my mother, then proceeded to have 5 daughters with her, and he loved to swim. I am certain that a mermaid was his vision of woman as beautiful. But it was to his just budding eldest daughter that he entrusted the creation that would grace his wall. Susie did not let him down. To this day I can see that mermaid in my mind’s eye.

Susie hand made many of her daughters and granddaughters clothes. The fabric and pattern were handpicked with care, and lovingly executed. I am certain that each of Duane’s lunches were made with the same love and care. For any of you that have seen the photo montage that Lisa put together to help us remember Susie over the years, you will have seen how much delight she took in making certain that she and Duane had the best costume at more than one Halloween gathering. Whatever the holiday was, Susie was certain to find a way to make a special treat or decoration to celebrate it.

As my older sister, Susie taught me so much. The first lessons were pretty basic to a young teen. She taught me how to apply lipstick; back then it was Peppermint Twist, which was an almost whitish pink shade, very popular in 1963 Southern California. Later it was how to dance the most popular dances. But there came a time when the lessons were subtler. Like how watching the sunset change from orange to coral to pink on summer nights was as exhilarating as new love or sweet wine.

Now I would not be honest if I say that Susie was all sweetness and sugar. She could also speak with a tongue that would wound and cut to the quick if you crossed her. Susie was a fighter and needed that “will to battle” when it came to living a life with a chronic disease. Just a few days before she passed she was suffering from the delusions that morphine causes. Annette thought she was seeing ghosts, and Susie commented that the only spirits in the room were the spirits of the Olive Garden on Cheri’s breath. She was near to being right; I’d had a spinach salad from Nino Salvaggio’s.

My sister was an amazing woman. She has left us a legacy of just such awesome women. Lisa is also a gifted and blessed creative being who cannot help but create beauty in all that she does. And Madison not only is following in her grandmother’s footsteps in regards to art and painting, she also creates words in poetry, as evidenced by her last letter to her grandma. They say that as long as we speak the names of those that have gone before, we do not die. My sister is gone, she will live on in all that she has created and all those who speak her name in love.

Cherie Charbeneau
August 5, 2005